I loved the book, "Chocolate and Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away" by Jennette Fulda. Not only has she chronicled her first three years of life with a ridiculously severe, stubborn and unalleviating headache, she managed to do so with humor and brutal honesty. (By the way, she also wrote "Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir," which I also loved. That will be a topic for another blog). Fulda isn't a Christian, as far as I know, but her humor and wisdom in the midst of her chronic suffering bespoke of heroism to me.
"Chocolate" hit home for me, not that I suffer nearly as much as she has from her excruciating, constant headache, but that the past six years of my life have been spent feeling pretty much chronically crappy, with the last six months or so sequeing into a more acute condition of fairly severe joint and spinal-related pain accompanied by constant fatigue. I'm still waiting for a definitive diagnosis, but auto-immune spinal arthritis is the most likely culprit. On a more minor but annoying note, I also have had eight months of chronic tennis elbow (though innocuous sounding, is a huge pain in the a...uh, forearm).
I am nothing if not proactive. I exercise, attempt to keep my weight down (operative word here is "attempt"), eat a fairly healthy diet, don't smoke or do illicit drugs, avail myself of medical services, and pray regularly for healing. But still. I also try my best to not slap people who give me well-meaning nutritional and herbal advice.
I have many friends and acquaintances that suffer far worse than I do, with truly life-threatening, progressive and debilitating illnesses and injuries. I feel like a wimp in comparison. I pray regularly for their healing as well, and feel helpless frustration that they continue to experience so much pain and anguish. Whatever the cause of one's poor health, life is much harder (and FAR more expensive) with chronic pain, and even harder with those of us who totally believe the healing power of God and sit around in condemnation, wondering what we are doing wrong to forestall our healing.
So I think the question isn't "why are we not healed?" The question is, "how can I walk in Christ's miracle-working power?" I believe the answer is relatively simple: James 1:4 PERSEVERANCE, and John 15:5 REMAINING IN HIM.
The gospel of John, chapter 5, contains the story of Jesus healing the crippled man by the pool. The Pharisees, of course, weren't impressed with the feat of this former, well-known cripple WALKING, they were incensed the restored man had the audacity to carry his mat around on the SABBATH, which somehow constituted work to their tiny minds, as did the fact Jesus exerted himself healing people. Anyway, lest I digress into a tirade against legalism, I will get to the point: Jesus answered their accusations: "...My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working...Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does. Yes, and he will show him even greater works than these, so that you will be amazed. For just as the Father raises the dead and gives them life, even so the Son gives life to whom he is pleased to give it," verses 17-21.
Jesus did what He saw the FATHER doing. Therefore to me, that means the Father does healing, and therefore, because of Jesus, we do healing.
Bethel pastor Bill Johnson said this: "'For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them' (Luke 9:56). The word 'save' in the original Greek language is the word 'sozo'. It refers specifically to the forgiveness of sin, the healing of disease, and the deliverance from torment. That is salvation. Jesus made the provision needed to save the whole person-spirit, soul and body..."
I don't think this means we dissolve into wails of "Why God?" whenever someone isn't noticeably healed, nor does it mean we sit around passively and wait for healing. I think Joyce Meyer puts it wonderfully: "If you need to take medicine, take it. If you need to go to the doctor, go. But don't do anything without trusting God to bring healing in your life. because even when medicine can't do it, even when man can't do it, God can still heal you. He is still a miracle-working God!" Amen.
She also said: "Some of you right now are in the wilderness of your life and whether you know it or not, He's working some junk out of you that needs to come out before you're going to be ready to have what God has promised you." I think this is true, too. The Gospel itself is super simple, but we are not super simple beings. Most of us come to the Cross cluttered with junk: unbelief, unforgiveness, shame, unworthiness, wrong thinking, etc, and a lot of our healing takes place in the revelation and grace we encounter while we're sick. Major things happen as we wait on the Lord for healing.
Now is the place where highly astute people ask, "why do some incredible lovers of God go to their graves unhealed?" My brilliant answer? I don't know. I have no idea, and I'm not going to make up stuff. All I can do is trust Jesus and keep praying. Trust Jesus when people die. Trust Jesus when people suffer. Trust Jesus when I prayed the 999th prayer for my best friend who's suffering. Do what I know to do, and trust God that "in all things He works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
