Seasons

As I rapidly approach my fiftieth birthday (YES, I said FIFTY!), I started thinking about what generational "season" my age puts me into. I'm guessing autumn, which sort of depresses me, as autumn represents aging, slowing down, flowers dying, stuff shriveling up... Realistically, however, I'm past the spring of childhood and the summer of reproduction and youthful vigor, so I must be into autumn. Rather than focus on the shriveling and dying part, I'm focusing on the brilliant colors, the frosty, beautiful mornings, hunting season, harvest and Thanksgiving...now I feel much better and can continue!

Ruminating on seasons of age transitioned into thoughts of other life seasons, and when to recognize when a chapter is over, a season has ended, and how to move into the next one without becoming mired in grief and inertia.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says, "There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."

I love that scripture passage. It gives me hope that no matter what sort of disturbance is going on in my life, it means something. It's a "time" that needs to occur. And when some friendships fade or become unwieldy, it may be ok to let go of them, or at least let them adjust into a new season, a new dynamic. Sometimes I've even had to "kill" a relationship, and later on, when things changed, healing came in, and the friendship was later reborn in order to be established in a much healthier manner. There are also times to confront, and times to shut up and pray for a person. Times to tear away from a job or ministry when it's time to embrace a new opportunity. It's often difficult to let go of something and plunge ahead into the unknown, when the way isn't clearly marked or laid out. This is the time of relying on FAITH. Trusting we've heard from God to move on, and to do it, relying on the fact that He's faithful and will lead us into the new season.

During these times of letting go or uprooting, I have often lapsed into fear, holding onto to the known longer than God wanted me to. Sticking with a ministry out of guilt or the fear no one would emerge to take it on. Remaining an enabling friend when the Lord has called me to show "tough love" and let the friend flounder on her own, flapping her wings in order to build strength and trust in God to care for her. Interfering with natural consequences that would teach a friend to make wise choices.

I have decided that this season of my life will be one of beauty and harvest. Not natural, physical beauty, but beauty of the soul...beauty that, "Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Pet. 3:4). And harvest. The reaping of sowing into the lives of others, whether they be my grandchildren or chance meetings in the grocery store. The harvest of the fruits of the Spirit that come only by living by the Spirit, not according the the flesh. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."(Gal 5:22-25). Not operating out of my logic and dysfunctional guilt or letting the emotions of others manipulate me, but operating out of Truth, being led by the Holy Spirit in all my relationships and encounters. Letting the King direct my paths, choices, and schedule. Submitting my life to HIS perfect will and plan. Amen.