The Joy of the Lord is my strength!

As I was laying on the couch a few weeks ago, post oral surgery, I suddenly realized I had absolutely NO aches or pains anywhere in my body, and for a 50-year-old, that's pretty amazing! Additionally, I felt total benevolence toward everyone (ain't that an achievement?!), even the individuals in my life that normally "sharpen my iron." I was puzzled, until I remembered the prescription narcotics I had gulped down earlier that evening. I thought, "I really could get used to this blissful Nirvana!" I began to wonder if the Doc would grant me a life prescription. My heavenly state reminded me of another time I had experienced that same celestial mood several years ago post-surgery; the anesthesia high was so comfortable, I felt cheated when it wore off. I remember thinking, "no wonder drug addiction exists in this world!" My mood was so temporarily perfect (except the fact that the side effects were laziness and disinterest in the needs of others) it started to scare me. I seriously worried that I might already be addicted, after just one dose! I couldn't worry for more than about five seconds, however, and I happily enjoyed the bliss for the next couple of hours.

Later that evening, when the effects wore off, I mused that someday I WILL legitimately experience that euphoric state, only this time in heaven: perfect peace and happiness, no harmful or addictive drugs necessary. Meanwhile, however, I have to go about life with its annoying aches, pains, tragedies, accidents, emotional hurts, stressful situations and all, and somehow find meaning and JOY. From merriam-webster.com, joy = "the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires: delight." I pondered the "possessing what one desires" part. In most cases, that possession is temporal-most things we desire either turn out to be disappointing and/or temporary. The one thing that eternally lasts, however, is a relationship with Jesus Christ. In HIM is fullness of joy (Psalms 16:11). True, lasting joy can only result from a relationship with Christ, period. Sure, those who don't know Him experience seasons of happiness and contentment, even in their love relationships, but those periods don't endure, and the only way to KNOW joy is to KNOW Him, and to know that my life is not just about pursuing happiness, entertainment, success, romantic love, and/or prosperity, because those things are not guaranteed OR eternal. Without them, can I still have joy? The Word commands us to "Be joyful always" (1 Thess. 5:16). This implies we have a choice whether or not to choose joy.

I don't know about you, but I have encountered (and confess that at times have been one myself) totally joyless, sour christians who act as if they have been dealt a bad hand in life. Guess what? Sour Christians poison the gospel, rarely save the lost, heal the sick, or encourage the hurting. Who wants to join that morose team? They are weighed down with the cares of the world and the feeling they've been somehow shortchanged. Really? Where do we get the selfish notion it's about us? The Apostle Paul was beaten, shipwrecked, imprisoned, etc. HE. Still. Had. Joy. Singing in prison-what a concept! He said that "to live is Christ, and to die is gain!" (Phil. 1:21) Crazy man!

 First Thessalonians continues the joy theme in verses 17-18, "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." To refuse to have joy is disobedience. It is to spit in the face of God and say, "Your will for me stinks, Mr. Almighty." That attitude should cause us to tremble in Holy fear. Who are we, the clay pots, to say to God, the All-Powerful Potter, "You made me wrong, placed me in the wrong setting, or withheld blessings from me?" God's answer to us then is, "Woe to those who go to great depths to hide their plans from the LORD, who do their work in darkness and think, 'Who sees us? Who will know?' You turn things upside down, as if the potter were thought to be like the clay! Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, 'You did not make me'? Can the pot say to the potter, 'You know nothing'?" (Isaiah 29:15-16).

 So then if we're commanded to CHOOSE joy, how do we go about that? Acts 2:28 says, "You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence." Acts 13:52 states, "And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit." Acts 14:17b says, "he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy." Then in the book of Romans: (14:17) "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit" (emphasis mine), and (15:13) "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." And Nehemiah 8:10 says: “The Joy of the Lord is my strength.” I could go on, but suffice to say, that when we are FILLED with the Spirit, we will have joy. When we obey God, CHOOSE to trust HIM, and ASK for the infilling of the Holy Spirit, we will experience joy. FOR THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT IS: "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control." (Galations 5:22-23). So let's all get fruity!

Time to Resurrect the WORD of God

Lately I've noticed a disturbing trend-the relegation of the the written WORD of God (here I'll refer to it as the Greek "logos") to the back seat in favor of "God speaking" directly (often called in Greek, "rhema"). I'm not talking about rhema here as the "quickening" of scripture to a believer's situation-that is valid too, but here, I'm just speaking of a believer's experience of God "speaking to" him or her outside of, and not necessarily confirmed by, direct scripture (logos). Both forms of the Word of God are important, but in many instances, the rhema word, as used outside of direct scripture, has taken precedence over logos, and this can bring grave error. There must be balance.

Hebrews 4:12 states, "For the word (logos) of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." Then Matt. 4:4 says: "Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word (rhema) that comes from the mouth of God.'" So both are important, and complement one another, and must be equally respected. I submit it's time to return to the written Word as our plumb-line. This isn't to say that God doesn't "speak" to a person, directly to his or her mind, or even audibly at times (I have never heard the audible voice of God, but have had Him "tell" me things that suddenly pop into my mind out of nowhere-great and awesome things, but NONE of them have ever contradicted scripture).

During my 25 years of Christianity, I have often encountered fellow believers who downplay Biblical scripture in favor of what "God has said" personally to them. This was spoken so authoritatively and convincingly, that my inexperience caused me to admire and respect that person as someone who "really hears from God." Since then, however, I have noticed that these "God told me" statements are often employed when that person wants to justify behavior or decisions that scripture clearly speaks against or doesn't really support. My husband once had a friend who totally justified divorcing his wife because he "felt" the Lord telling him she was having an affair so it was okay to divorce her. Turns out she wasn't having an affair; he just was tired of her and had his eye on another available gal. To add insult to injury, the other men in the group "had compassion" for the wayward man and supported his decision! Needless to say, my hubby quit the group immediately. I too was once in a heated argument with another person who actually said, "the Bible isn't everything; sometimes we need to look at what God is saying in the situation." Not cool.

Another abuse of Logos involves taking scripture out of context (I've been guilty of using a single verse to prove my point or to win an argument, much to my shame). So a verse like Matt. 7:1 "Judge not lest ye be judged," seems to indicate we cannot make a judgement call against anything. Looking at the verse in context paints a completely different picture, especially as we get to verse 15: "watch out for false prophets...etc." Obviously we have to make a judgement call here about which prophets fall into the false category. Then to John 7:24, "Judge not according to the appearance, but judge with righteous judgment." While my son was in YWAM's Biblical Core Course in Honolulu, HI last spring, he learned to study the Bible inductively rather than deductively. Tony Warren, from mountainretreatorg.net defines inductive reasoning as "a term of logic that means interpreting scripture with no pre-judgment, from the text itself, through analyzing the evidence and drawing out of it logical conclusions. Biblical Induction literally means 'out of,' or introduced "from" the Bible. The Bible being the source of specifics from which general evidence (and thus doctrine) is derived."

It's so amazing to read the bible without trying to make scripture prove a point! Just READ it and see what it says! How refreshing! And don't let others tell you what it says; it's meant to be read and understood. Get a version that makes sense to you. I personally cut my Christian baby teeth on the New International Version (NIV) and love it, but I don't claim it's the end-all, be-all version. Some folks will beat you over the head, insisting the King James Version is the only TRUE version. Guess what, people, NO ONE talks like that anymore! Get over the archaic language and get a version that is accurate and easy to read. Here's a good place to start your research: http://www.biblestudy.org/question/which-bible-translation-is-closes-to-original-manuscripts.html.

The bottom line is this: we need to desire TRUTH above all things. We need to realize our sinful nature will, at times, rise up and try to take over. The Word of God (both logos and rhema) are God's gifts to us, to help grow us up in Him. We also need to realize that we have an enemy who wants to lie to us continuously, and without our weapons of war, we are vulnerable. "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Eph. 6:10-18.

If we neglect our study of the logos word of God, we are susceptible: "For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear." 2 Tim. 4:3. And further in that book, Tim 2:15 says, "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth."

How to: 1. BE a disciple and 2.. MAKE disciples

Disciple: (from dictionary.com) "1 a. one of the 12 personal followers of Christ. b.one of the 70 followers sent forth by Christ. Luke 10:1. c. any other professed follower of Christ in His lifetime. 2. any follower of Christ. OR Person who is a pupil or an adherent of the doctrines of another; follower." What I found even more interesting, however, were the origins of the word: "disciple: Biblical borrowing from Latin: discipulus "pupil," from *discipere "to grasp intellectually, analyze thoroughly," from dis- "apart" + capere "take" . So I interpret this as to first, grasp intellectually, second, to analyze thoroughly, and finally to take hold of and to be set apart. Love it!

I have been pondering the Great Commission: what it means, am I doing it, and if not, HOW to do it! I don't think salvation tracts are the answer, sorry.

Matthew 28: 16- 20 reads, "Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

But hold on a minute...look at the end of verse 16: "...but some doubted." What? Some of the 11 remaining disciples DOUBTED? Are you kidding me? These men who had been with him since day one DOUBTED? Wow. Back to dictionary.com: doubt="to be uncertain about; consider questionable or unlikely; hesitate to believe." After all they went through with Jesus, some still doubted. Incredible. But look at Jesus' answer, and herein, I believe, lies the key to our motivation for the Great Commission: “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go..." and His final promise, "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” We don't go it alone. We have Him right there with us, always. And because ALL authority has been given to him, and He's WITH us, all authority has been given to US.

So this is what I am convinced of today: 1) that to be a disciple means that we have grasped the truth of Jesus. That He is the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE, and that no one comes to the father except by Him (John 14:6). And that we have taken hold of the truth and consequently have been set apart as followers of Christ. 2) to fulfill the great commission we must go and make other followers, empowered by the authority given to us by Christ, who is with us always.

Now the difficult part, am I making disciples? To be honest, I'd have to say, "not so much." Dead silence. Why? Why am I shirking the Great Commission? If my leader gives me one big assignment, how in God's name can I ignore it? Lame excuses like, "I'm not an evangelist," or "it's not my gifting," are essentially bunk. Jesus doesn't give me a loophole like that. He said "Go and make," period. As far as I can figure, I'm not doing it for three reasons: fear, preoccupation with my own life, and laziness/love of comfort. Those are horrible reasons, and it's embarrassing to face them. Fear of what? Loss of friendships, admiration, popularity? Philippians 3:8 has the answer for that: "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ." Preoccupation with my own life? Matthew 13 and the parable of the sower deals with that issue: "[and] The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful." Yikes! I don't want to be this one; I want to be this one: "Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown." What about my laziness and love of comfort? John 12:23-26 answers that: "Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me."

So I must change. I must become one who counts everything rubbish beside the great honor and prize of knowing Christ and making Him known. I identify with Paul in Romans 7:21-25 "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched [wo]man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

It is through Christ, by the enabling of the Holy Spirit, that I will GO and make disciples of all nations, including my coworkers, relatives, friends, acquaintances, and strangers. 1 Thessalonians 1:4-5b "For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction." The Holy Spirit will give me power to present the gospel, bringing deep conviction. I don't have to rely on my lazy, comforting-loving, approval-seeking self to convince others that they need Jesus. I only need to walk in the assurance that Jesus himself is with me, the King of authority, and I HAVE the Holy Spirit's empowerment to speak boldly, fearlessly, and convincingly. What a relief! Now to ask for opportunities and divine appointments-and then...GO!

The uncomfortable topic of SIN

SIN. We hate the word. We breathe a sigh of relief that it's "under the blood," and it is...however...we must not stop warring against it each and every time it rears its ugly head. Hebrews 12:4 says, "In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood," which implies we WILL struggle with our sin. Now to me, THAT'S a relief. To know that I will still struggle against the desires of my flesh (and of course, it won't lead to bloodshed :) makes sense of my struggles today. I am human; I am sinful; therefore, I MUST consistently war against my sinful nature. I am not a freak of Christianity who can't get it together; I need to sharpen my weapons and get after it!

We all know people (or we are them) that don't seem to fight their flesh. To us, their sins are painfully obvious: pride, anger, critical spirit, gluttony, self-indulgence, laziness, mismanagement of finances, sexual sin, bigotry, etc. I can place myself in most of those failings on any given day, but the bottom line is, it's SIN. We live in a Christian culture of excessive tolerance, misnamed "grace," so rarely are we forced to face our sin. If we are not praying like David, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24)," we may never really have to face our offensive ways.

We have stamped out legalism in the church, but in doing so, we have also stamped out much of conviction. We can spend all day on ourselves, wasting the precious time God has given us, indulging the sinful nature, and feeling totally fine about it. Why? Because we have released responsibility for our behavior. We are so "under the blood" that we've become soft and spoiled. I listened to a podcast from the Ramp yesterday and Damon Thompson argued that unless we spend significant time with Jesus, unless we make Him FIRST in our lives, including our TIME, we will not bear His image, we will bear the image of the world. He went on to say that a person can easily watch 4 hours of television a day, and that's normal, but to spend 4 hours in the Word and in Prayer is almost unheard of from the modern, average Christian. Now you could say Damon is "beating the sheep," but I argue that he's provoking us to return to our first love, a time when everything else paled in comparison to Jesus. Philippians 3:8-9b: "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him..." Of course astute biblical scholars will ask me, "What about the rest of the verse 9? Which says, "...not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith." Amen. Indeed.

The rest of the passage answers that question: (vv.10-21) "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained. Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body."

Hallelujah! Let us NOT live as enemies of the Cross! Let our stomaches (appetites) NOT be our gods, and let us take our minds off earthly things! Take note of all the active verbs in that passage: know, attain, press, share, strain, take hold of, live up to. We can do "all things in Christ who strengthens me" (Ph. 4:13).

And finally, the words of the apostle Peter (2 Pet.1:5-11): "For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." Amen?

Defending Life

A few weeks ago my husband and I attended our local pregnancy support center's annual fundraising banquet. Afterward, we rushed home to take care of our grandkids so their parents could work their respective night shift jobs. As I put those precious grandbabies to bed, I began to ponder anew the existence of abortion in our world. I had been a pro-life zealot in the past, fighting the battle with prayer, protests, and relentlessly giving family and friends the facts about abortion. Over the years, complacency set in, and I gradually lost my zeal, giving up the battle and letting others shoulder the load. That night, however, I was reminded that as long as we humans kill our own, we have not outgrown the barbarism of slavery, racism, and sanctioned murder. We are still the same people who enslaved and brutalized African Americans, lied to, stole from, and murdered Native Americans, burned women at the stake under the guise of Christianity, just to name a few of our nation's past atrocities. And now, the blood of our discarded children cries out from the ground for justice.

Pro-Choicers cite compassion for women in difficult situations as the reason for their stance, some even claiming to be personally opposed to abortion for themselves. The bottom line is that they believe it's a woman's right to choose what goes on with her body. But what about the other person whose life is at stake? These same people have great compassion for animal rights, humanitarian causes, and starving children in third world countries, but are incredibly blind to the sanctity of the unborn's life, and to the fact that abortion has two victims-the child and the mother. She is forever scarred and guilty, as much as she tries to justify her actions. My heart bleeds for the mothers who have aborted their babies. They were sold a bill of goods and believed the lie that they made the best choice under the circumstances. Thankfully, they have a merciful God who forgives and heals their sin, just as He forgives and heals all our sins. Their sin is no greater or worse than any other. It just bleeds more.

I ran across the following on the Association of Pro-life Physician's website, and as it is so powerfully and eloquently worded, I have taken the liberty to share it.

"One can rarely engage in a discussion over abortion without one of the rare cases being brought up to justify abortion:

“What if the woman is raped?”
“What if a thirteen-year old conceives through incest?”
“What if the fetus is deformed and unlikely to survive anyway?”
“What if the mother’s health is at risk?”
“What if the mother’s life is threatened by her pregnancy?”

We would be remiss to deny the emotional sway of these rare scenarios that would pull at the heart-strings of any compassionate physician. We grieve with our patients who endure such tragedies in life, and want to provide the best healthcare possible to them. But do these dire circumstances justify an abortion?

It is easy to prove that these objections to the pro-life ethic are insincere. What if someone brought up these arguments to justify the killing of an infant: “The baby was conceived through rape” - “The infant is deformed and mentally handicapped” - “The mother’s health is suffering as a result of her baby.” Would anyone who endorses abortion in the womb openly justify the killing of an infant using these excuses? No, they would not. This proves that these objections are insincere and that the heart of the matter is whether the fetus is a living human. If it could be proven that the human fetus is just as alive and just as human as the infant, then these objections would not justify aborting a fetus any more than an infant. (For a thorough scientific argument proving that life begins at conception, please see the article on our website or the APP tract “When Does Human Life Begin?”)

We must respond to all tragic circumstances of pregnancy from the unshakeable foundation of two indisputable premises: human life begins at conception, and it is always wrong to intentionally kill an innocent human being. The unborn child’s right to life and liberty is given by his or her Creator, not by his or her parents or by the state. The right to life is inalienable: that is, not to be trespassed upon by another. In tragic circumstances such as rape or incest, we want to care for both the mother and her unborn baby. We want to relieve the suffering of the mother and her unborn baby. It is never right to intentionally kill an innocent person, even if it does relieve another’s emotional or physical suffering. It’s not up to a vote, and our obligation to submit unto divine judgments does not sway with our circumstances." (http://www.prolifephysicians.org/rarecases.htm)

Cloaked and anesthetized in pseudonyms like choice, pregnancy termination, "morning after pill", and even the necessary-sounding word, abortion, the snuffing out of a human life becomes abstract and clinical. It's easy to endorse something without fully understanding the horror taking place thousands of times each day.

Abortion is the act of murdering a human being in cold blood. It doesn't erase or rewind, it tears, maims, shreds, crushes, assassinates, butchers, slaughters, executes, destroys and massacres. Depending on the method, it also decaptitates, eviscerates, poisons, disembowels, suffocates, garrotes, burns and dismembers. It isn't a nice, neat, clean way to remove an unwanted growth.

I have marched with fellow pro-lifers who carried pictures of aborted babies, much to the shock of observers. We were treated as if WE were the artists responsible for composing the heinous sights. To quote from the website http://www.abort73.com/abortion/abortion_pictures/, "Though pictures of aborted embryos and fetuses are shocking, they are no more shocking than the act of abortion itself. Until you see what abortion does, you will never accurately understand what abortion is. There are some things for which words alone fail to accurately communicate their brutality."

Now to shift from referring to abortion as the cause of death, I want to place the tools of slaughter directly into the hands of the perpetrators, and to be honest, it is us. We are guilty either by passively allowing, as a society, this atrocity and horror, or we are deceived into thinking it's not really murder-more of a medical procedure-and anyway, shouldn't each woman decide? I propose that if the murder of deformed 3-year-old children began to take place, we would rise up in horror!

Not only do we all corporately share in the slaughter of the innocent, we also share the guilt of the loss of great talent and the extraordinarily gifted. Just as Tim Tebow's mother was encouraged to abort him, other mothers pregnant with fantastically brilliant individuals have been tempted with that same choice, and sadly, thousands have succumbed to the pressure. Gianna Jessen, an aborted baby who miraculously survived a saline abortion, and who now suffers from cerebral palsy as a result, speaks out powerfully for life. I have included a must-watch link to her speech to the Australian parliament: http://youtu.be/BrPuOrEMNwE

In this video, she says, "Some day we will stand before God and we will ask Him "Why did you let so many people die of cancer, AIDS and war."
God will answer:
I sent you someone with the cure for Cancer, but you aborted them.
I sent you someone with the cure for AIDS, but you aborted them.
I sent you the Prince of Peace, but you hung him on a cross.

At what point will we Christians rise up and defend the unborn child's right to life? What will it take to mobilize us from our complacency? The blood of the innocent cries out from the ground, and we don't hear it.

Check out: http://bound4life.com/

The End of Propriety...or...the Beginning of Passion!

Propriety (according to Webster): "the quality or state of being proper or suitable: appropriateness; conformity to what is socially acceptable in conduct or speech; fear of offending against conventional rules of behavior." The American Church (defined here as corporate believers or Christ-followers) as a whole, displays very little passion in gatherings or even personal lives; we are much more concerned with propriety. We tend to avoid the radical, the weird, the different...to be blunt, the PASSIONATE. Those who are passionate often offend us. We label them (and I have been TOTALLY guilty of this) unbalanced, super (or spooky) spiritual, over-the-top, "so heavenly minded they're no earthly good", etc. But what does God really think of the Jesus Freaks?

The bible is full of weirdos; take some of the prophets, for example: Ezekiel cooked his food over human dung, laid on his right side for 390 days, and then his left for 40 days, as a God-ordained symbol of atonement for Israel's and Judah's sins; Isaiah walked around naked for three years as a warning of future calamity coming for Egypt and Cush; God ordered Hosea to marry a sleazy, unfaithful prostitute, AND forgive her and accept her back every time she cheated on him. Hosea's assignment served to paint a graphic picture of God's love for His unfaithful people; Joshua and his people marched around the walls of Jerico, shouting until it collapsed, much to the amusement and derision of the Jerico inhabitants; and John the Baptist lived in the wilderness, wore camel hair clothes, ate bugs, and forcefully preached an unpopular repentance message. But the icing on the cake: Jesus constantly behaved inappropriately as defined by social and/or religious customs. He boldly declared himself to be the Christ; he touched and healed a (gynecologically) unclean woman; he verbally trashed the Pharisees, the highest religious rulers of the day; he ate at a dishonest tax collector's house; he protected an adulterous woman from a lawful (and deserved) death; he defended the disciples accused of breaking sabbath rules and gathering grain, again in the face of established religious protocol; AND He healed the sick, raised the dead, cast out demons and turned the world upside down! To further explore biblical weirdness, the book of Acts records numerous accounts of magnificent miracles, all performed by ordinary men, full of passion. Don't tell me that stuff was only for then and not today! Now go read Revelation and get your mind blown :)

So what are we afraid of, people of God? Are we afraid to offend by the plain gospel message? "Go therefore into ALL the world and proclaim the gospel" (Mark 16:15). Are we afraid we will be criticized or shunned? "[Jesus] was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces, he was despised, and we held him in low esteem." (Isaiah 53:3) Are we just uncomfortable with passionate emotions and feel they are somehow flesh-inspired? Luke 19:37-40 reads, "When [Jesus] came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen: 'Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!' Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, 'Teacher, rebuke your disciples!'
'I tell you,” [Jesus] replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out. WHAT? Jesus PROCLAIMED that either they must SHOUT, or the very stones would! My grandma, whom I loved dearly and was a wonderful woman, used to say about the churches I preferred, "I don't go for that whoopin' and hollerin' nonsense." Well her church was an Evangelical Lutheran church, and not only is pro-choice and pro-gay, but ignores the issue of a real hell. Give me whoopin' and hollerin' and the unadulterated truth!

Passion includes the following definitions: "a powerful emotion; an abandoned display of emotion." We are to express emotion just as Jesus expressed emotion. Jesus wept over the death of Lazarus (THEN raised him from the dead!) and over Jerusalem's unbelief. He cursed the fig tree (and it died), and he violently cleared out the temple. That's passion, Baby!

The opposite of passion is apathy, defined as "1. absence of interest in or enthusiasm for things generally considered interesting or moving; 2. absence of emotion." I submit to you that the majority of our gatherings of worship and praise show just that, a poverty of enthusiasm and joy. We are more concerned with propriety than we are with the over-the-top joy that is our strength. Be over the top; be a freak! Ignore the snide remarks to chill out and settle down. DON'T settle down, don't settle for lukewarm, period. Revelation 3:15-16 says, "I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth." We are called to be a people of passion and exuberance! 2 Samuel 6:14 declares, "David, wearing a linen ephod, danced before the LORD with all his might." And his wife, Michal, watching from a window, saw his antics, and "depised him in her heart" (v. 16). Hmmm? Are we Davids or are we Michals?

 The JOY of the Lord is our Strength! (Nehemiah 8:10) Joy is defined as: a. Intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness; and b. The EXPRESSION or MANIFESTATION of such feeling (emphasis mine). So when we say that our joy is just on the inside and not visible, we are only half rejoicing!

Lou Engle tells of a time the Lord gave him an embarrassing assignment. The Lord called him to stand up in the middle of a showing of the blasphemous "O God" movie (starring George Burns), and shout out that Jesus was the true God. Lou initially disobeyed, totally unwilling to make a fool of himself, but the Lord "burned in his belly" so strongly, that Lou felt he had no choice, finally obeyed, shouted like a maniac the message the Lord gave him, and then ran out of the theater. We WILL be called to be weird. We will offend people as we preach the gospel and stand for righteousness. We will hurt our friends when we tell them the truth ("But the wounds of a friend can be trusted," Prov. 27:6) We may even lose everything: job, position, reputation, even family respect, but the treasure of God is FAR more important. He is a pearl of great price and we MUST start acting like it. We must also act like Hell is real, and real people (including friends and loved ones) are going there, unless they repent and turn to Him, period. There are not many ways to heaven. There is one Way, and we must proclaim it from the mountain tops! "Let your light SO shine before men that they may see your good works and PRAISE your Father in heaven (Matt 5:16)."

In Pursuit of Zeal

In spite of my best intentions, I still find that I fill the precious days I am alloted with MY agenda, MY plans, pursuits and recreation. I more resemble a Buddhist basking in the "flow" than I do a Christian submitted to the will of Almighty God. My brand of "flow" mixes the pseudo-spiritual with the overtly worldly: while I dutifully spend time in the Word and prayer, I am impatient to finish so I can do my REAL agenda, MY plan. My plan involves piddling away on the computer (if I call it "research", I feel better about it), exercising with a passion I don't have for the things of God (apparently the health of my "earth suit" far outweighs the desire to clothe myself in righteousness), resignedly putting in my time at work, and pretty much stubbornly pursuing whatever tasks I deem mandatory for the day. Really? And yet I have the gall to wonder why I don't have a powerful, miracle-working life? How can I expect to further the Kingdom of God when I'm more concerned with building my own pitiful little queendom? Where is my passion for the Lover of my soul? Where is my honor for the King of Kings, hunger for His Word and Presence, grief for the lost, and compassion for the hurting? What evidence is there in my life that I am sold out to Jesus?

The final nail in the coffin of my conviction happened this weekend, at the Montana Aglow conference. With each message the speaker delivered, my heart broke again and again over my laziness, desire for comfort and ease, and disgusting apathy. The nations cry out for redemption-TENS of thousands of their people die DAILY without hope of heaven. What am I doing? Concocting my next clever FaceBook status. As I sip my $4.00 lattes and chow down on Halloween candy, millions of precious children starve. While I shop for clothes I don't really need, the homeless huddle to stay warm. While I take vitamins, jealously guard my sleep, and rarely miss the latest Survivor episode, thousands of the unborn, created in the image of God, are sacrificed daily to the god of convenience. I am pathetic.

Not only am I ashamed, I am undone. And I pray that I never, ever get over my undoing until the day I die. I pray that grief over this self indulgent, wasteful, and apathetic living leads me to "LOVE the Lord MY God with ALL my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength, and to LOVE my neighbor as myself." (Luke 10:27) I pray that I never again forget that my number one priority in this life is to be the bride of Christ. A bride so consumed with love, passion, and zeal that she will pour out her life EVERY day in selfless devotion to her Lord. That she will cry out continuously to be sent to the world's lost and dying. That she will live to die. So help me God.

Sacrifice

The story of the Abraham's testing found in Genesis 22:1-19 has always disturbed me. Not only does God here seem like an evil pagan deity demanding human sacrifice, but He seems like a reneger: promising Abraham something wonderful, yet after YEARS of waiting to give him the promised son, He cruelly demands him back. I cringe at this story, and subsequently have jammed it (along with the story of Job) into one of my imaginary drawers -a drawer I label, "bad bible stories to avoid."

The other morning, however, when I was praying for direction and wisdom, this story popped into my head. Rather than allowing myself to suspect God of a dark side, I patiently waited for revelation. And here's what I realized: Abraham had some past issues with his character; to be blunt, he acted like a weasel on at least three occasions in his past. Twice he attempted to pass his wife off as his sister in order to protect himself, even though she could have been sexually compromised or even raped, and then he passively agreed to sleep with his wife's servant in order to conceive the promised child. These failings pointed to a lack of faith, loyalty and trust in God.

The Lord designed a trial for Abraham-not for God's peace of mind (he KNEW how Abraham would respond, He's GOD, after all), but to reveal to Abraham his own heart. He proved himself, to himself, that he would obey God at all costs; he would not waver, even when God didn't make sense or seemed cruel, demanding the one thing Abraham had prayed and longed for, the promise fulfilled, and now demanded back. Abraham is recorded in scripture as "the friend of God" and "the father of all those who believe, not the coward, manipulator or wife-betrayer he had been.

The apostle Peter too was tested. During his test, he denied Christ THREE times, exactly as Jesus prophesied he would. This hothead even denied to Jesus' face that he would deny! So he failed his test, but the results of that failure broke his heart. He became a new person that day, a man of power, one who boldly preached the gospel, healed the sick and raised the dead- a rock of the early church. His loyalty to Christ eventually led him to a martyr's crucifixion.

So I don't hate the Isaac near-sacrifice story any longer. Abraham's test proved his mettle, and though I can't help but think Isaac would have been scarred for life after this incident, I also think he would have been amazed by his father's faith in action-faith that trusts God to come through no matter how impossible the circumstances.

I have always thought I would have failed Abraham's test. My children (and now my grandchildren), have always been the greatest joy of my life. I think I would have had to slit my own throat just to escape God's command! Thank God I'm not Abraham. I may not need THAT test (please, God!). I most likely need some other test-a test designed for me-designed to show me what I'm made of. I'm sure I would be depressed by my vast failings, but maybe I would be pleasantly surprised at hidden strength. I want to be like Abraham-one who trusts God and has no other person, place or thing that takes precedence over my Lord. I want to lay down my life to answer His call, with nothing standing in the way of my passion and love for Him. I also want to be like Peter-one whose personal failings drive him to change-to transform him into the person God called and equipped him to be.

Seasons

As I rapidly approach my fiftieth birthday (YES, I said FIFTY!), I started thinking about what generational "season" my age puts me into. I'm guessing autumn, which sort of depresses me, as autumn represents aging, slowing down, flowers dying, stuff shriveling up... Realistically, however, I'm past the spring of childhood and the summer of reproduction and youthful vigor, so I must be into autumn. Rather than focus on the shriveling and dying part, I'm focusing on the brilliant colors, the frosty, beautiful mornings, hunting season, harvest and Thanksgiving...now I feel much better and can continue!

Ruminating on seasons of age transitioned into thoughts of other life seasons, and when to recognize when a chapter is over, a season has ended, and how to move into the next one without becoming mired in grief and inertia.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says, "There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."

I love that scripture passage. It gives me hope that no matter what sort of disturbance is going on in my life, it means something. It's a "time" that needs to occur. And when some friendships fade or become unwieldy, it may be ok to let go of them, or at least let them adjust into a new season, a new dynamic. Sometimes I've even had to "kill" a relationship, and later on, when things changed, healing came in, and the friendship was later reborn in order to be established in a much healthier manner. There are also times to confront, and times to shut up and pray for a person. Times to tear away from a job or ministry when it's time to embrace a new opportunity. It's often difficult to let go of something and plunge ahead into the unknown, when the way isn't clearly marked or laid out. This is the time of relying on FAITH. Trusting we've heard from God to move on, and to do it, relying on the fact that He's faithful and will lead us into the new season.

During these times of letting go or uprooting, I have often lapsed into fear, holding onto to the known longer than God wanted me to. Sticking with a ministry out of guilt or the fear no one would emerge to take it on. Remaining an enabling friend when the Lord has called me to show "tough love" and let the friend flounder on her own, flapping her wings in order to build strength and trust in God to care for her. Interfering with natural consequences that would teach a friend to make wise choices.

I have decided that this season of my life will be one of beauty and harvest. Not natural, physical beauty, but beauty of the soul...beauty that, "Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Pet. 3:4). And harvest. The reaping of sowing into the lives of others, whether they be my grandchildren or chance meetings in the grocery store. The harvest of the fruits of the Spirit that come only by living by the Spirit, not according the the flesh. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."(Gal 5:22-25). Not operating out of my logic and dysfunctional guilt or letting the emotions of others manipulate me, but operating out of Truth, being led by the Holy Spirit in all my relationships and encounters. Letting the King direct my paths, choices, and schedule. Submitting my life to HIS perfect will and plan. Amen.

On Leash

I spend much time walking my two dogs.

One of them, my Springer spaniel, Jed, I can let run free, off-leash. He keeps an eye on me and never strays too far, even though he's a high-energy guy who loves to race up and down the hillsides. He can be trusted to heel whenever I command him: through traffic, across streets, when other dogs are walking past, etc.

The other, my wimpy, neurotic Pomeranian, Sunny, needs a leash, as she has the single-minded tendency to run off to pursue her own agenda. More than once she has narrowly escaped death by car. Yikes! The other morning I let her off leash up in the hills, just to give her a bit more exercise running free. Within 15 minutes, I was furious with her. Initially, she lagged behind, sniffing this and that, totally ignoring my whistle. Then she trotted off in the opposite direction, forcing me to run her down and tackle her. Finally, she wandered into some thick bushes and wouldn't come out, no matter how forcefully (or sweetly) I called. I eventually crashed in after her, locating her near some rotten, dead creature, drug her out, and had to hoof it double-time back home in order to get to work on time...Grrr! On the way back home, scratched, sweaty, muddy, stinky, and plotting her swift transfer to the Animal Shelter, the Lord began to use her behavior to speak to me.

You see, I resemble Sunny much more in my relationship to the Lord than I do Jed. I ignore His summons, do my own thing, run off and hide from Him, and generally can't be trusted to stay in step with Him. I don't like this picture. It has been often said that D-O-G is G-O-D backwards, and I think it's true. I think the relationship of owner to pet is much like our relationship to God. And some of us aren't the most obedient, loyal, or well-behaved pets in the world!
So what does God have to do? He leashes us. I started thinking of the leashes in my life...straps that keep me from danger, disloyalty, hardship and heartache. One such leash is my health. Whenever I get on a manic, work-a-holic, Martha-ish kick, I get sick. The illness serves to slow me down, to get me into a position where the Lord can speak to me about HIS agenda, not mine. Another leash He uses is finances. While not a true shopper, I tend to look for things to buy when I'm unhappy or bored, gravitating to books. Then when the Amazon charge on my credit card shows up, I cringe, realizing I've substituted shopping for fellowship with the Lord. So I stop shopping and spend time reading, praying, and the all-important, LISTENING. Another leash He uses with me is relationship stress. When I get on a me-kick, my close relationships begin to fall apart. My first reaction is to blame my family and friends for their clingy codependency, until I finally humble myself enough to see my insensitivity and selfishness for what it really is.

I want to be off-leash. I want to be trustworthy, loyal and sensitive to the voice of the Lord. I want to be the child that doesn't have to be harnessed in the airport. I want to stay by His side and willingly, joyfully follow Him wherever He's going, ignoring the sometimes alluring scent of sin and self-gratification. He's much better than anything this world has to offer.

I'm actually grateful for His leash on me. It proves He loves me and cares for my well-being. Just as Sunny's leash protects her from loss and death, the Lord's leash protects me from self-destruction. I hate the leash...but I love it.
"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:7-11.

Fasting???!!!

Fast. The four letter word of Christianity. How it makes me squirm and sweat! I want it to be an old testament practice so I don't have to mess with it. BUT Jesus words clearly call me to the practice: "WHEN you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full." And He fasted FORTY days! So then, I must fast. My normal method is to just fast food...and drink a variety beverages to "keep up my strength."

 This, however, from Mark Buchanan's "Your God is Too Safe" convicted me: "The Fast God chooses teaches us to have his heart for the hungry, the oppressed, the naked, the homeless. It's to motivate us to do good works, God-works...what Isaiah calls repairing broken walls. When we taste a little brokenness ourselves, we have a greater sense of urgency to repair for others what is broken. Fasting is meant to scour our gut. It is God's intent that we would feel the pangs of hunger,the gnawing emptiness, the dizziness and weariness. That's how a third of the world lives. And if we never live that way even briefly, how will we learn to care for the least of these? Without hunger, our consumption will lead us deeper and deeper into acts of oblivious or intentional neglect, abuse, or exploitation of those who are hungry. Fasting gives us a small taste of what their world is like, a taste we will never get if we do not for a time forsake the taste of food."

 Ouch! Dizziness? Weariness? How will I make it through my work day? How will I function with customers? I am a serious wimp. I am an overfed American. My flesh rules me. How embarrassing. From Isaiah 58:5-9
"Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
only a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed
and for lying on sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD?
“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousnessa will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

So my flesh can scream and pout like a tantrum-throwing child, but I will let the humility of my weakness press me into God and I will drink only water. Help me, Lord. Teach me your ways and your path. Let me care more about your heart and my spiritual journey than satisfying my weak flesh.

9/11

Day 11 of my spiritual journey happens to fall on the 10th anniversary of 9/11. What a hellish day that was. The atrocity and tragedy of that day is burned in our collective memories; I can still see that second tower fall as I watched it on t.v. while it happened, tears running down my face, saying, "no, no, no!" over and over.

If I let bitterness dominate my heart, however, those who died that day will have died in vain. While I must to hate terrorism with all that is in me, I must not hate my enemies. Christ commanded, "But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." (Matt. 5:44). That, of course, is impossible unless we possess the agape love from the Father. We love only because "...He first loved us" (1Jn.4:19). Those who claim to love from the world's perspective offer only stolen grace. Those of us who were bought by the precious blood of Jesus know there is no grace without a cost. But for ALL who believe and call on the name of the LORD, there is grace that pays for every sin.

 I'm so grateful and moved today by the fact that I am truly free. Free to walk through my journey knowing He took every evil thing that has happened and will happen upon Himself, and will redeem every injustice, every hardship, even every atrocity, and turn it to good. May those who follow false Gods or no God at all, be filled with the knowledge of the one true God, repent and turn from their sin, receive salvation, and be examples and witnesses of Christ to the lost and floundering world. Amen.

40 Days

About a month ago, I started feeling like I need to change some things in my life; mainly, I want to live with purpose. To live a life sold out to Christ. To stop treating Him like a fishing buddy I call on just whenever I feel like fishing.

 So this past Thursday I began a 40-day journey of dedication. I have sworn off the frivolous (Facebook games, fictional books, time wasting activities, fluff-movies, etc.), and will replace them with things of substance (study, prayer, fasting, listening to God, opening my eyes to the things He's trying to show me, writing, completing previously procrastinated projects, etc.)

During this journey, I pray I gain wisdom and revelation. Peace and Passion. Purpose and victory. I want to turn from the trinkets and trifles of this world, and live with God's perspective on things. WHOM do I need to befriend, help, or encourage? WHAT do I need to do with this precious day that I get to live through just once? WHERE is God asking me to go? I need to shuck off the whiney, poor me, self-absorbed crap, and follow in his footsteps. Acts 17:28 says, "For in Him we live, move, and have our being." This is what I'm going to do...

To Live is Christ!

Haven't posted in awhile-too busy trying to figure out my life. What a waste of time! My life is God's and I don't need to figure it out! What a relief! I've been reading Francis Chan's book, "Forgotten God." Talk about powerful! I want to share a few excerpts here:

First one, "To be honest, I believe part of the desire to "know God's will for my life" is birthed in fear and results in paralysis. We are scared to make mistakes, so we fret over figuring out God's will. We wonder what living according to His will would actually look and feel like, and we are scared to find out. We forget that we were never promised a twenty-year plan of action; instead, God promises multiple times in Scripture never to leave us or forsake us."

And, "I don't want my life to be explainable without the Holy Spirit. I want people to look at my life and know that I couldn't be doing this by my own power. I want to live in such a way that I am desperate for Him to come through. That if He doesn't come through, I am screwed."

And "I don't believe God wants me (or any of his children) to live in a way that makes sense from the world's perspective, a way I know I can "manage." I believe He is calling me-and all of us-to depend on Him for living in a way that cannot be mimicked or forged. He wants us to walk in step with His Spirit rather than depend solely on the raw talent and knowledge he's given us."

And finally, "We can have a great time singing and dancing ourselves into a frenzy {in church}, but at the end of it, fire doesn't come down from heaven. People leave talking about the people who led rather than the power of God."

I LOVE this book! It has challenged me in ways I haven't thought about for years. I am guilty of losing my passion for Christ, for the Lost, for the Holy Spirit, for God's plan for the world. I've been about ME and MY world far too long, and that's changing, right now. While it's necessary to be faithful to our families,jobs, friends, obligations and connections, those things CAN'T be more important that following the leading of the the Holy Spirit. Those things can all become my WORLD, where God is squeezed into a corner. Where I pray quick little, "help me today, in my plans, God!" Really? My plans? Are you kidding me??? What about HIS plans? What about the commission to "Go and make DISCIPLES of all nations"? What about Me being the clay and Him the Potter? I'm seriously ashamed of my "little" Christianity. Of my little Jesus who doesn't raise the dead, heal the sick, save the lost, or anything. Of praying weak, "If it's Your will, Lord" prayers. What about expecting a miracle? What about believing in a God so good that I would sell everything I own and head for the nearest plane and give up ALL for His call on my life? Or go clean some disgusting toilets, talk to some stinky homeless person, give up my lattes, new shoes, nice car and reputation to FOLLOW HARD after Him? When do I realize that God isn't on my train? I need to jump on HIS and get ready for the ride of my life.

Following the Call

My husband and I both are experiencing great job dissatisfaction in our lives of late, so much so, that our attitudes have been severely (and adversely, I might add) affected. We separately decided we needed to seek God for the answers. Are we supposed to change jobs, go into some sort of ministry, move, WHAT? My passion is to make a difference in the lives of others; to spur them on to what God has in store for them, to face their fears and follow HARD after God, because only in Him can we find true satisfaction. So I'm dissatisfied. Good one, Peggy.

Why am I dissatisfied, and what can I do about it? First of all, I prayed and sought God's voice both to my spirit and by reading the Word. The single word I felt spoken into my spirit was "patience." Not my favorite word! For those of you who know me, patience isn't one of my strong suites. My dad nicknamed me (sarcastically) "Patience" when I was a child. When I decide something needs to change or get fixed, it better have happened yesterday! I used to laugh when non-homeschooling parents would say to me, "Oh I could never home school, I don't have the patience." I'd reply that as the least patient person on earth-if I could do it, ANYONE can! So what to do about the nasty word I received? Swallow it and wait for Him to move. Yay.

During this time I also had a dream one night, and in it, the Lord chastised me for not following Him wholeheartedly. For letting fear stand in the way of complete and truthful pursuit of Him. Fear of man. Fear of disappointment. Fear I would freak my non-Christian and non-Charismatic (= believing in the manifested gifts of the Spirit) Christians out. But then, not trusting myself to hear clearly (we all can be easily deceived by the enemy, desires of our flesh, and just random thoughts), I spent time in the Word-VERY important. The prophet Jeremiah is my absolute favorite biblical hero. I LOVE that man. I can't wait to get to heaven and befriend him! Hopefully he'll like me :) Anyway, I noticed he spent SO much time patiently following God's orders and standing against popular (and sinful) opinion, even of those in powerful leadership (read Jeremiah chapter 38).

 Anyway, this scripture jumped out at me (Jeremiah 29:11, 13-14a) "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and future...you will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me WITH ALL YOUR HEART." (Emphasis mine). Ok, Lord, I get it. I am allowing fear to stunt my growth, and even worse, to stop me from pursuing the call on my life. I am in amazed gratitude of the lengths God will go to get my attention and seize the moment to teach me something. His love is incredible, and the fact He loves me, one tiny, unimportant human in a sea of humanity, blows my mind. And the fact He has a big JOB for me, if only I get on board with his plans, stuns me.

For now, then, my plan is to (patiently) wait on Him. To pursue Him with all my heart. To proclaim His goodness and love. To TESTIFY to the fact that YOU ALL (or in Butte Lingo, "Youse guys") are just as precious, loved and CALLED as anyone, even the prophet Jeremiah. He has GREAT plans for us, plans to PROSPER us, to give us a HOPE and a FUTURE...but...we must seek Him with ALL our hearts. Amen.

We're WORTH the Change!

I have a confession: I LOVE the show, "Hoarders" on TLC! I know that is some sort of sick voyeurism, but I can't help it...I'm fascinated by what makes those folks tick. I also have to confess that I feel a huge sense of relief (mixed in with some smugness) that at least I'm not that bad! But deep down, I have a sneaking suspicion I could be one of them, given the right circumstances. In fact, I struggle with at least one area of hoarding: photos and memorabilia.

I can hardly bear to part with a single scrap of paper my children ever scribbled on. I hate the fact that there are photographs out there in the wide world in the possession of others, and I don't have a copy! Those pictures could potentially capture the absolute essence of my precious babies and I have never even SEEN them! That realization almost sends me into a panic attack. And the fact I have a granddaughter now (and grandson on the way), and her picture portfolio is managed by someone else other than me (her own mother, of course), is a thought I studiously avoid entertaining. I recently confessed to my mom that I believe I am a "memorabilia hoarder" and she replied, "yes you are!" Thanks Ma. To further add to my collecting stress, I recently started a life scrapbook for my father. He was born and raised in Butte, and my compulsion is leading me to visit the Butte archives just in case there's anything up there about him that MUST go into his scrapbook. Good luck on that mission, Peggy!

So how does this hoarding confession of mine tie in with the blog topic? Memorabilia/photo hoarding does not make me happy, not really. Oh, it fulfills a longing of mine: the hope that I can gather and keep life trapped so it doesn't slip away from me...that the tangible evidence of history in my possession somehow contains vital parts of the people I love, and if I hold onto them, I have protected and kept their lives. But that is a lie.

Now there's nothing wrong with commemorating and celebrating the lives of loved ones with scrapbooking-in fact I think it's one of the greatest forms of honoring. But the fact remains that photos and physical evidence of accomplishments are NOT the person him- or herself. This truth is tough for me. I feel like those scraps are exactly that...pieces of that person, and then when I toss out that evidence of life, I'm discarding a piece of him or her, which kills me. I am constantly at war with this compulsion. I have to choose to toss unflattering or duplicate photos out and take out the garbage right away so I can't second guess my decision. I have to limit my grieving when event photos turn out badly. I have to fight the urge to dig through my paper recycling box and LEAVE the discarded scraps of my prolific daughter's childhood artwork IN THE TRASH. Sigh. Sometimes I hate being me.

The good news is that I'm changing. I really am. I'm not completely free of my compulsion, but I'm getting better. I'm holding myself to a higher standard and talking myself through sorting decisions. I forced myself to go through my 7,000 digital picture collection on my computer, deleting duplicates (slight changes in subject's facial expressions ARE still duplicates, Peggy!), moving photos of non-family members to cd's to distribute personally (which I wish others would do for me!) as I couldn't bear just to delete them (once again, the notion that those pictures ARE that person!), and trashing the pix that are just plain bad shots. I'm also working on strengthening my deleting muscles as I practice discipline in this area.

But the biggie is that I must fully realize I have great value, simply because I exist, and that great value translates into the fact that I cannot afford to waste my life spinning in circles, ignoring the potential and power placed in me by my Creator!

Do you realize who we are? We are FORMED people. Crafted by One much more vast, powerful and intelligent than we are. One who, in spite of His incredible power, wisdom, and creativity, loves us as we are, but also loves us too much to let us stay the way we are. Here's the rub, however. He won't force change on us. We have to pick up our bag of inertia and partner with Him in realizing what He has for us. We were not crafted to slog around in the muck of self-hatred, complacency or futility. We have a calling, a life, potential, and purpose. At what point do we stop believing the lie that we can never be more than we are? That we can never change the fallout of our personalities and upbringing?

Today, realize who and what you are. That you are created in the image of GOD, a perfect being who makes no mistakes, period. Rise up to the challenge He's placing before you...to live a joyful, victorious life. He has handed us victory over the flesh, the earth, and those who oppose us. We just have to grasp the baton and start running (or maybe baby stepping!) Hebrews 12:1b-2a says, "...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us RUN with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on JESUS, the author and protector of our faith." Run baby, run!

Change Really IS Good!

I have been mulling over the word “change” lately, and what actually motivates us to succeed at permanent, personal change in our lives. I have attempted to come up with a process that makes sense intellectually to me, as well as appears to be reasonably realistic and achievable. Much of this is based on my recent coaching training which has already proved extremely helpful in my own life. My husband suggested I call this blog entry, “the Tough Love Blog”!

Most of us profess we “should” lose weight, exercise more, eat more healthily, cut down on spending, alcohol, cigarettes, etc., but what actually motivates us to initiate real change? There are the obvious outside motivators that create fear or desperation in us (health scare, loss of job, DUI, divorce, death of a spouse or other loved one, etc.), forcing us to either change or face catastrophe. Then there are internal motivators such as arriving at a place of dissatisfaction or discomfort and realizing that we must and WILL alter our behavior. It is the second motivator that I want to lay a hold of…to harness, so to speak, so that we stop spinning our wheels and go for the gusto! How does one consciously grab the need for change and use it as a spur for action, rather than wait for a crisis to kick us in the backside before we get busy?

Just like AA’s 12-step program, I first have to admit that change is necessary! I need to stop denying the facts: Do I weigh too much? Is my health poor because I have made it that way? Am I digging myself into a debt hole, spending more than I make? Do I have a bad marriage? Am I friendless? Do I hate my job? Is my house a disaster? During this step I take a hard look at my life and admit it’s not what it should be and it’s time for change.

The second step is to realize that I possess what it takes to fix my life. I can exert myself in ways I may not even realize. I have huge potential inside me to do great things, no matter how much I doubt that. Low self esteem doesn’t alter the truth about my ability to change.

The third step is to recognize that I am the problem! Not my spouse, job, the IRS or the economy. I must own my life choices, period. No more excuses, blaming others or wasting time dwelling on my handicaps. Of course, after I say this, I realize that some of us face health issues that we cannot fix, and that is a huge hurdle to overcome, but even in the face of health problems not of our own making, we can still choose to live our best life.

The fourth step is to focus on one aspect of life I want to change. Is it my health, marriage, job, house organization or finances? Just pick one. The principle here is, “baby steppin’, Doc” (I loved the movie, “What About Bob?”!) As an example, let’s say I decide my health needs changing, pronto.
The fifth step is to brainstorm several solutions to that one issue I want to change. Initially, I’ll list as many solutions as I can think of; I can eliminate the ridiculous later. Say I brainstorm such things as quitting smoking, getting more sleep, exercising, improving the quality food I consume, getting a
muscle transplant ☺, etc.

The sixth step is to pick ONE solution to implement. Don’t be disappointed. ONE is enough to start with; more than that and it’s easy to become overwhelmed. Remember Rome wasn’t built in a day. So I decide I need to exercise.

The seventh step is to set a goal and a time frame during which I’ll implement my change. Let’s say I decide to exercise for 30 minutes, 3 days a week, for 3 months. I’ll ask myself a few questions relating to my goal: When should I do this? Where can I carve out the time and know I will be able to commit? So I choose to use my work lunch hour. I commit to walk for 30 minutes on my lunch hour. I will either ask a co-worker to be my walk buddy, or I will accompany myself with music or downloaded books on my iPod. I will bring an umbrella and waterproof shoes in case it rains. I will bring warm clothes in case it snows. I will not be deterred. If I am sick, I will reschedule for the next day. I will persevere for 3 months.

The eighth step is to assess the results at the end of my goal’s time period. I’ll ask myself some questions: How did that work for me? How do I feel as a result of meeting my goal? What were the benefits of that change in my life? How did my health improve (did my blood pressure/cholesterol/weight go down)? Am I sleeping better as a result? Do I feel more peaceful and in control of my life? If the results are positive, congratulations, I have incorporated a change in my life, time to celebrate! And then, keep on keepin’ on! If I don’t feel like this worked out very well, I need to go back and brainstorm another solution to the problem.

The ninth step is to repeat the process and initiate another change. Only I can come up with a reasonable solution and timeframe to test it in. Studies show that new habits are formed after 21 days after implementation. This is good!

So here's the tough love part: Don’t give up too quickly; most of the time, that’s the pattern of our lives. We suck at persevering. Don’t cave to your spoiled child tendencies. Tell yourself, “this is boot camp, baby, and you’re gonna suck it up for awhile!” You only have one life to live, so why not live it to the fullest?

In Search of Truth

I was pondering the words truth and freedom this morning, and how they relate to one another. I looked up the word "truth" on webster.com: "Sincerity in action, character, and utterance; fact: the body of real things, events, and facts: actuality; transcendent fundamental or spiritual reality; a judgment, proposition or idea that is true; the body of true statements and propositions; the property of being in accord with fact or reality."

Digesting that, I realized how hard it is to be seekers of truth in ALL areas of life. On a personal level, we struggle with admitting our character flaws. Somehow to admit we're wrong or weak freaks us out. It's much easier to sanitize our flaws and transform them into "quirks" or blame others for our reactions. Claiming responsibility for both our actions and reactions requires a strength we often don't possess. It takes courage and humility to own up to our imperfections, and we often don't possess those qualities in enough abundance to withstand the sense of shame encountered in admitting we're flawed.

Another tactic of truth avoidance is to proclaim that there are "many truths", which is actually a load of crap. There are not many truths. Either it's raining outside or it's not, and either God is real or He isn't, and your or my opinion of the matter isn't going to affect that truth in the least.

Truth is no longer fashionable or politically correct; lies are the rage nowadays. Politicians, news reporters, and world-wide leaders, for example, lie without compunction or consequence. It's astounding that we cooperate with the anti-truth campaign and go about our business as if it doesn't concern us that our country functions on lies!

Onto freedom. What does that word really mean? Once again I turned to webster.com: "the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action; liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another; independence: the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous; ease, facility; the quality of being frank, open, or outspoken; boldness of conception or execution; unrestricted use." Wow! Are we really free? Or are we too afraid of the opinions and potential rejection of others that may result once they know our true selves? Are we terrified they will see us for who we REALLY are and want nothing to do with us? That is not freedom; it is slavery.

Truth and freedom. At what point to we desire these above acceptance and comfort? Psalm 51:6 states, "Surely You desire truth in the inmost parts" (NIV). And then Psalm 119:45-46: "I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out Your precepts. I will speak of Your statues before kings and will not be put to shame."

Under Construction, literally!

I chose to call my blog "Under Construction" for two reasons-one, this blogspot is literally under construction, and two, as a person, I am under construction, and I've finally come to peace with that notion. None of us will reach perfection in this life and we better get over it! In my younger years I spent countless hours beating myself up for my many failures (I still indulge in that stupid activity from time to time...hard to teach an old dog new tricks), but I AM better, and I'm living proof that change is possible.

I guess that's why I decided at this stage of life to get a new career-that of a life coach. So many of us struggle on a day to day basis feeling dissatisfied with ourselves, our lot in life, our inability to perform or succeed, and just the general notion we're basically losers. I want to help reverse that mentality, and I truly think it's possible. Some of my type A friends will wonder what the heck I'm even prattling about-this is not for you peeps-you were either trained right, figured it out on your own, or born with the accomplishment gene. Love ya's (as they say in Butte), but get outta here and go look at recipes or something! Some of my type Z friends will say, "Who cares? What's the big deal with failure?" You've been blessed with a special personality. Go lay on the couch :).

The rest of us, probably most of us if we're honest, need a cheerleader and coach in our lives! So let's get busy and start coaching ourselves out of our slumps and move forward. Change is Good!